If you ever questioned how to truly repel the masses, I have discovered the real deal! It comes in the form of a highly contagious, ugly bitch, called Pinkeye. Not only does each and every individual you encounter instantly know you have this evil plague, but they will, in addition, assume you are the 'dirty kid' (or the 'dirty mom' in my case).
I had never been graced with Pinkeye's presence prior to having The Babe, but have recently had recurring instances, and let me tell you, she's a bitch! I have reverted to frequent, and excessive hand washing, antibacterial wipe binges all around the house, and consta-sunglass wearing (no, mailman, I don't think I'm a diva).
I am aware of the further implications of my condition, and have come to terms with the reality. I refuse to be held hostage by Pinkeye. I am standing tall, eyes WIDE open, and telling you all, that 'number two' has set up shop in my eye.
I know this may be vulgar for many readers, but unfortunately it is one of the joys of Motherhood (and diaper duty). I have accepted the stigma, and I guess today, I am the proud face of Pinkeye. The Hubby has resorted to calling me "The Shit-Eye Master" and I suppose I should embrace the nickname, and hope she'll move on and enjoy someone elses optical region.
(PS...I am sorry for using the 'B' and 'SH' word, Granma. It was just so fitting!)
Hahhahah We've all had it! I've had it multiple times, its sooo contagious. Most important thing: THROW AWAY, (yes away, no matter the cost!)all mascara or eyeliner you have used while you were infected or you are guaranteed to get it again.
ReplyDeleteI had never had it until this last month, and I've had it about 3 times!!! WTF, not cool!
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